I’m sure y’all have heard the classic 1983 Eurythmics hits “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”. Well my dreams as of late have been anything but sweet…they’ve been eff-ed up! My dreams have always been a bit off the wall…lately they are so vivid and dramatic (“how dramatic Dolores”) that I can remember specific details about them the next day.
Maybe there are some dream interpreters out there…coz dear Christ, I need help! Here’s just a few examples from the past few months:
Just the other night, I dreamed of my “dream man”…ha ha, just kidding. Actually, the man in my dream was someone I’d been out with maybe twice in real life, but in dreamland, we were seriously dating…to the point where I was going to (gulp) introduce them to my frickin family! Come to find out, when my hot lover was introduced to my family, my brother already knew the stud because he’d gone to high school with him! Now in reality, what are the chances of that?! Thank Christ I woke up from that insips dream…
Now to another extreme: last week I met Ann and Nancy Wilson of the music group Heart in my dream…and get this: it was at a Pat Benatar concert where I met the 2 sisters (that in and of itself should shun me into therapy). Ann was the more talkative one, whereas Nancy sat and listened. Christ knows what we talked about…I’m sure I was biffed at the concert. Shameless plug: my gut feeling is my dream is based on the fact that those 2 old broads have a new book out and a new CD on the way…
OK, get this one: a few nights ago, dreamland offered me this lewd tale…apparently I now sell Viagra on the side! (at least in my dreams). Yup you got it: two in need of a “boost” friends came by to purchase Viagra from me! I mean, I knew times were tough, but who knew I’d be a pharmaceutical rep handing out sex enhancing pills to fellow queens? Please dear Lord, tell me what this dream means!
So here’s a semi-serious one: about a month ago, my vivid dream involved me finding out about the death of a former close friend. This friend, whom I’ll call The Kidd, died mysteriously…all of my friends knew that he died but they didn’t know how. I remember asking each of my friends in the dream what The Kidd died of, but they had no clue…this dream left me frustrated and on the edge of my seat. Were my friends lying to me? Was my dream really a dream within a dream (a la “Nightmare on Elm Street)? Damned if I know…
Well, no dream is complete unless I’m either dreaming of the afore-mentioned Pat Benatar (no, I’m not obsessed with her) or my childhood hero Michael Myers from the “Halloween” movie series. I’m kidding…I’d never have a serial killer as a hero. But he’s become a hero of sorts coz even though he haunts me in my dreams, he’s like an old friend that will never die (at least in movie-land). Shameless Plug: By the by, the 1978 original classic “Halloween” is being re-released at the end of October to movie theaters. And yet another Shameless Plug: my 59 year-old 80′s rock chick Pat B. is touring with Journey currently and I might add, the old biddy is getting rave reviews on this tour. In fact, most reviewers say she’s better on this ridonculous package tour than the more popular Journey.
Anyhoo, so what does it all mean?? Here’s what I’ve surmised about myself from dreamland as of late:
1) I want it to be 1985 again (obviously).
2) I only date men my brother knows.
3) I take too many pills in the morning, so I want to be a drug seller to make extra cash to buy more Blu-rays (and pills).
4) I wish to meet only my favorite female rock stars at other female rocks stars’ concerts…(isn’t that unfair competition?)
5) My life is a 70′s horror movie.
6) I want the Eurythmics to tour again…is that too much to ask??
Until next time, where my dreams will be even more stupes I’m sure