Sweet Dreams are made of….

Hey peeps…

I’m sure y’all have heard the classic 1983 Eurythmics hits “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”. Well my dreams as of late have been anything but sweet…they’ve been eff-ed up!  My dreams have always been a bit off the wall…lately they are so vivid and dramatic (“how dramatic Dolores”) that I can remember specific details about them the next day.

Maybe there are some dream interpreters out there…coz dear Christ, I need help! Here’s just a few examples from the past few months:

Just the other night, I dreamed of my “dream man”…ha ha, just kidding. Actually, the man in my dream was someone I’d been out with maybe twice in real life, but in dreamland, we were seriously dating…to the point where I was going to (gulp) introduce them to my frickin family! Come to find out, when my hot lover was introduced to my family, my brother already knew the stud because he’d gone to high school with him! Now in reality, what are the chances of that?!  Thank Christ I woke up from that insips dream…

Now to another extreme: last week I met Ann and Nancy Wilson of the music group Heart in my dream…and get this: it was at a Pat Benatar concert where I met the 2 sisters (that in and of itself should shun me into therapy).  Ann was the more talkative one, whereas Nancy sat and listened. Christ knows what we talked about…I’m sure I was biffed at the concert. Shameless plug: my gut feeling is my dream is based on the fact that those 2 old broads have a new book out and a new CD on the way…

OK, get this one: a few nights ago, dreamland offered me this lewd tale…apparently I now sell Viagra on the side! (at least in my dreams).  Yup you got it: two in need of a “boost” friends came by to purchase Viagra from me!  I mean, I knew times were tough, but who knew I’d be a pharmaceutical rep handing out sex enhancing pills to fellow queens? Please dear Lord, tell me what this dream means!

So here’s a semi-serious one: about a month ago, my vivid dream involved me finding out about the death of a former close friend. This friend, whom I’ll call The Kidd, died mysteriously…all of my friends knew that he died but they didn’t know how. I remember asking each of my friends in the dream what The Kidd died of, but they had no clue…this dream left me frustrated and on the edge of my seat.  Were my friends lying to me? Was my dream really a dream within a dream (a la “Nightmare on Elm Street)?  Damned if I know…

Well, no dream is complete unless I’m either dreaming of the afore-mentioned Pat Benatar (no, I’m not obsessed with her) or my childhood hero Michael Myers from the “Halloween” movie series. I’m kidding…I’d never have a serial killer as a hero. But he’s become a hero of sorts coz even though he haunts me in my dreams, he’s like an old friend that will never die (at least in movie-land).  Shameless Plug: By the by, the 1978 original classic “Halloween” is being re-released at the end of October to movie theaters. And yet another Shameless Plug: my 59 year-old 80’s rock chick Pat B. is touring with Journey currently and I might add, the old biddy is getting rave reviews on this tour. In fact, most reviewers say she’s better on this ridonculous package tour than the more popular Journey.

Anyhoo, so what does it all mean?? Here’s what I’ve surmised about myself from dreamland as of late:

1) I want it to be 1985 again (obviously).

2) I only date men my brother knows.

3) I take too many pills in the morning, so I want to be a drug seller to make extra cash to buy more Blu-rays (and pills).

4) I wish to meet only my favorite female rock stars at other female rocks stars’ concerts…(isn’t that unfair competition?)

5) My life is a 70’s horror movie.

6) I want the Eurythmics to tour again…is that too much to ask??

Until next time, where my dreams will be even more stupes I’m sure 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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Madgey Cakes

Ok, so it’s been almost exactly a year since I blogged.  So what brought me back you may ask?  I went to yet another of my never-ending concerts…(and I wonder why I don’t have much of a savings account)…but this particular show was eye-opening for me.  I went to Boston MA to see the seemingly ageless 80’s, 90’s, 00’s, and still ongoing pop star Madonna, or as I lovingly call her, Madgey Cakes.

I’ve always had sort of a love/hate feeling for the old broad…yet I somehow get pulled into her world whenever she releases something new musically or goes on tour.  When I first bought her current CD “MDNA”, I honestly thought it was a piece of junk, sans 4 or 5 tracks.  For Christ’s sakes…she’s singing lyrics about being a “girl” and chirping about how she wants all your luvin (yes, that’s how the word is spelled in the song title).

Anyhoo, back to the concert….I think this is the 6th time I’ve seen Madgey Cakes and while it wasn’t her best show by any stretch of the imagination (that award belongs to her “Confessions Tour” 2005), it was by far the most fun show she’s put on, and she’s actually become a little more human….a little. Seven songs from the new CD were performed and the recorded versions are a bit stiff….but in concert, they came to life…and the audience responded accordingly.  I felt like I was at a nightclub, with pulsating rhythms, jarring lights, and women and queens bouncing around like it was an all-night rave. And anytime she sang an old familiar hit (“Papa Don’t Preach” and “Like a Prayer” come to mind), the older fans went into a frenzy…ok, I admit I flipped out too. Oh, did I mention that the show was almost a week ago and my voice is still a bit hoarse from screaming out every lyric of her songs?

The highlight of the night was her 1990 hit “Express Yourself”, done as a mash-up with Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way.” It’s now way too obvious that the 2 songs are exactly the same with different lyrics. Madge still has a ton of energy, but didn’t bounce around the stage as much as on past tours. She sang in her lower register most of the night (if her voice wasn’t being enhanced) and she was inaudible a lot of the time. But yes I was a tad biffed at the show (biffed means drunk, in case you were wondering)…so her voice could’ve been perfect for all I know.

There were some embarrassing moments for poor Madgey Cakes: a song called “Gang Bang” should have been left out of the show…this was where Madge had a huge fake machine gun and would point it at the audience during the song. I’m sure it was meant to be ironic and/or tongue-in-cheek but it was insipid 🙂

And one of her biggest hits, “Like a Virgin”, was done as an unrecognizable waltz and was an abomination. If my friend Katie didn’t tell me what the song was, I never would’ve known.

So why was the show so much fun? If you can gather 2 of your best friends, sing your tits off to every song, dance around like you were a Solid Gold dancer, and not care what anyone thought of you, then that’s a good time. Leave it to good ole Madgey Cakes to bring it all back…

…and the show was definitely not stupes 🙂

 

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Summer Concerts ’11

Those people who know me well know that I’m a music aficionado. So when summer rolls around, there’s one place you’ll most likely find me: a concert venue.  I’m referred to as the Concert Queen (CQ for short), as I frequent so many concerts during the year, and most acts tour during the summer.  This is especially the season when all of my favorite 80’s artists tour…as old as they are, I thank God that they still hit the road and belt out some 80’s favorites.

I spent so much dough on summer concerts last summer that I decided to only pick and choose specific shows to attend this year. This meant that I had to forgo numerous shows…these included Heart (with powerhouse lead singer Ann Wilson), 311 (a group I’ve always wanted to see but never have), and The Motels (yes they are still around, believe it or not).

Of the 5 shows I attended, only 1 was a performer I’d never seen before: the much-maligned Katy Perry. This was my official kick-off concert for the summer of 2011. I actually blew off Providence Gay Pride to see this young chick belt out her dance-pop froth with abandon. While she’s not my favorite artist by any stretch of the imagination, Perry actually surprised me at how well she could carry a tune. The teeny-bops in the audience annoyed me to no end (no surprise there) but I was actually glad I got the chance to see her. It reminded me of when I saw Lady GaGa last summer…those were 2 performers I wanted to see only one time while they were at their peak.

A double bill of the Go-Go’s and the B-52’s was next on the list and I’d seen both artists separately, and also together about 10 years prior. I make an annual pilgrimage to see the B-52’s every summer, so I was more excited about seeing the Go-Go’s, who tour randomly and infrequently. In fact, last summer was supposed to be their “Farewell Tour”. Somehow that all changed and this was the 30th anniversary tour to celebrate their debut album “Beauty and the Beat.” Whew…30 years have gone by and that album is still fresh and listenable. Who knew? The Go-Go’s sounded great…very tight and more polished and professional than in the past. Unfortunately, singer Belinda Carlisle was her usual disengaged self, even when her young gay son came out on stage to help the band sing “Whole World Lost Its Head.” I still love the aloof diva regardless. Guitarist Jane Wiedlin did a lot of the talking this time around, as did many of the other band members. The B-52’s did their usual, zany party-filled set. They’re supposed to be releasing a live CD from this tour in October.

It wouldn’t be summer if I didn’t see the most talented rock chick of the 80’s: Pat Benatar. There isn’t a summer that goes by that I don’t go see the Queen of Rock. One time I drove to NYC in 2006 to see her ‘coz she wasn’t coming anywhere near New England. That’s a dedicated Benatar fan! Not only did I see her once this summer, but I went twice within the span of a week and with different friends. The show was almost the exact same, with the exception of one song. The first show was at House of Blues in Boston, Benatar’s debut performance there. She was energized, talkative, and in great voice. Her talented guitarist and husband Neil Giraldo gets equal billing on her tours these days. He’s still quite handsome and is smoking on the guitar (but he needs a haircut)! The combo of Benatar’s powerhouse voice and Giraldo’s wailing guitar gives me chills each and every time I see them. It’s a feeling I don’t get with many artists. They had nothing new to promote again (sadly) but I could’ve cared less. The highlights were scorching versions of their anthems “Invincible”, “All Fired Up”, “Hell is for Children”, “Heartbreaker” (this time a mash-up with “Ring of Fire”), and the rarely performed hit “Sex as a Weapon”. The title track from her only #1 album “Precious Time” was done and an obscure song called “I Want Out” from 1982 was also pulled out of the archives at Twin River Casino and I stood in awe from the front row. Rock on Pat and Neil!

The final show of summer ’11 was the legendary Stevie Nicks, or as I affectionately call her, Sheepie Nicks. I was quite reluctant to see this aging rocker. I hadn’t seen her since around 2001 and while she sounded good then, I’d seen YouTube performances of tours since then and thought she sounded rough. I was happily surprised when her voice was intact and soaring on many of her solo and Fleetwood Mac hits. Nicks admitted to the audience that she now tours with a voice coach, which helps keep her voice in great shape. The coach, whose name escapes me, did a duet with her on “Leather and Lace”, taking Don Henley’s place. Nicks did quite a bit of her new CD “In Your Dreams” and it gave me renewed interest in the mellow, country-ish new release from her. She opened with “Stand Back”, perhaps her best known hit, and closed with “Edge of Seventeen”, proving that she’s still a female rocker at heart.

It’s almost Fall and that means there are slews of artists on tour again. I may have to open up my wallet, whilst bats fly out of it, and purchase some upcoming concert tix. Perhaps a bit of Blondie? The Human League? Stay tuned music lovers…

 

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Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

I went and saw an atmospheric and moody little horror/fantasy film last night called “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.” It’s not doing that well at the  box-office, so it’s possible you may not have even heard of it. It’s a remake of a 1970’s made-for-t.v. movie of the same name that starred Kim Darby.

This version stars Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce but the point-of-view of the film is seen through the eyes of Bailee Madison, who plays a young girl named Sally. Madison is quite the little performer in this movie. She’s shipped off to live with her dad (Pearce) and his new girlfriend (Holmes) somewhere in Rhode Island…the house they move into is a sprawling, gothic mansion. Kudos to the filmmakers for having the film take place in the state I live in.

Sally is a sullen and moody girl, none too happy about having to live with her Dad. His girlfriend Kim (a great name homage to actress Kim Darby) tries her best to befriend Sally but Sally wants no part of that. Instead, Sally starts to hear voices and discovers that there are small creatures living in the mansion’s previously sealed-off basement. It’s this early part of the movie where mood and mystery take place, while also giving it a fantasy feel as opposed to a horror feel. This is thanks to producer and screenplay writer Guillermo del Toro, who knows a thing or 2 about the genre. He helped helm 2 great fantasy/horror films “The Orphanage” and “Pan’s Labyrinth.”

It wouldn’t be a movie if the characters actually believed Sally was seeing creatures and hearing their voices. Her dad thinks she needs a shrink but girlfriend Kim slowly starts to give Sally the benefit of the doubt. She does some research of this Rhode Island mansion and discovers it has a malevolent past.

From here I will not give away any plot spoilers, other than to say the ending is a nice nod to the original made-for-t.v.’s ending. What’s sorely missing from “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” is a sense of dread or terror. The last half-hour will definitely keep you on the edge of your seat but the movie is hardly terrifying. For that, see a recent master of terror called “Insidious.”

The “R” rating is head-scratching as well. Besides 2 brief violent scenes, without any gore, the film could’ve easily been rated “PG-13.” Out of 5 stars, I’d rate it about a 3. “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” is not one of those rush-out-to-see films but I would recommend it for horror genre enthusiasts. It’s a nice change of pace from the splatter flicks that pop up from time to time. And its release ushers in the upcoming Halloween horror movie season.

 

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Provincetown August 2011

A recent week-long vacation to Provincetown, MA opened my eyes to many things. I hadn’t taken an extended vacation outside of my home surroundings in years…if anything, I’d take day trips or maybe a one or two night stint somewhere. I feel more comfortable being close to home these days.

Going to Provincetown with 2 other friends proved to me that: 1) I can go away on vacation and actually live with other people 2) I can be quite the social butterfly that I had forgotten I could be and 3) I can find a sense of inner peace and happiness.

I met many people from all walks of life and from many parts of the U.S. and outside of the country as well. Most I met were genuinely friendly and having a grand ole time. It was “Carnival” week, a week-long celebration that can be equated to New Orleans’ “Mardi Gras.”

Highlights were going to shows in town…one in particular was called “Showgirls.” This is where host Ryan Landry (in drag no less) was the master of ceremonies for a competition that had people enter off the street. The winner won $500 and the contest featured drag performers, actual singers, and comedy acts. It lasted over 2 hours but was well worth the cheap price of $13.

Another exciting adventure was a booze cruise called “The Tide is High Cruise”…named after a song by one of my favorite bands of all time Blondie. I was reluctant to go, as were my friends Jeff and Lenny, but we ended up having an amazing time. We watched the sunset and saw a rare rainbow which extended across the sky. Of course, there was dancing and drinking, and many acquaintances from Providence were there.

The weather agreed with us for the most part, so the beach became our routine for 3 out of the 7 days we were there. Herring Cove isn’t the easiest beach to walk on, due to it’s hilly and rocky terrain, but the views are spectacular. My skin went from the ghostly white it was when I arrived in town to a golden brown sheen when I left. Everyone noticed it when I came back from vacation.

It wouldn’t have been “P-town” without trips to the local bars and nightclubs. It was a surprise to me that I had the energy to hit them each and every night, with the exception of one night. The booze cruise altered my equilibrium and made me even dizzier than I normally am, hence I stayed in that night for much needed rest. The funds in my wallet became lower and lower, thanks to those bar-hopping nights. But they were worth it.

Lastly, shopping and dining in P-town was fun but expensive. I tried my best not to get that dreaded plastic card out too much but it couldn’t be helped. A last night of great food was also had at the “Red Inn”…a perfect way to end a week-long celebration with good friends.

It was back to reality all too soon but there are already plans to go back next year. I’m marking off the days on my calendar already.

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Messing with the English Language

It’s finally here…my long-awaited blog!  Shout out to my girl Susan (a.k.a. Woozan) for giving me the idea.  Whilst some people understand the lingo behind my blog web address, some will not.  I’m here to give some insight into what I call “Kenny-speak.”  About 10 to 15 years ago, I got tired of speaking in the same dull manner as everyone else.  One day, I was at work back in 1995, when my co-worker Kim came up to me and said “Judy is going to give me a ‘tude today.”  I asked her what a ‘tude was and she explained that it was an “attitude.”  Okay I said to myself…I love this girl and the way she cuts off words.  There were other variations over the months of working with her and I ran with her crazy language.  Credit must be given to her.

From that point on, I would try to find any way I could to mess with the English language.  Words were shortened, vowels were switched around, and acronyms became prevalent in my life.  I watch movies and t.v. shows and listen to others around me as my crazy language has come to fruition.  I want long overdue residuals from semi-creating this language…watching it spread like wildfire has been a howl.

As you can see, my blog’s web address is “stupesinsipsrants.”  Everyone knows what a rant is but just what the hell is a stupes? It’s short for stupid and is something I say when something or someone annoys the bejesus out of me.  Insips is short for insipid…a word that rolls off the tongue like no other word I know. Sometimes I say insips just to hear the sound of it.  So my blog name is a play on words…I hope that people don’t actually find my blog stupid, insipid, or ranting….quite the opposite. I hope it entertains people.

There’s more to come on the subject of messing with the English language. I could write a dictionary on it and in fact I may one day.  Stay tuned…

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